the orchid-dandelion hypothesis: the notion that genes and traits that underlie some of humans’ biggest weaknesses — despair, madness, savage aggression — also underlie some of our greatest strengths — resilience, lasting happiness, empathy. If you’re used to the disease model of genes that are associated with mood and behavioral problems, this hypothesis can seem puzzling. The turn lies in viewing problems such as depression, distractibility, or even aggression as downsides of a heightened sensitivity to experience that can also generate assets and contentment.
the orchid-dandelion hypothesis: the notion that genes and traits that underlie some of humans’ biggest weaknesses — despair, madness, savage aggression — also underlie some of our greatest strengths — resilience, lasting happiness, empathy. If you’re used to the disease model of genes that are associated with mood and behavioral problems, this hypothesis can seem puzzling. The turn lies in viewing problems such as depression, distractibility, or even aggression as downsides of a heightened sensitivity to experience that can also generate assets and contentment.
Playing together helps us to explore and learn about sharing power.
Even among complete strangers, a moment of playfulness, even outright silliness, forms and instant resonance.
– Blog
Learning in action.
The stories we tell about ourselves are probably most important because they are what bring meaning to our journeys
I am the owner of my karma. I inherit my karma. I am born of my karma. I am related to my karma. I live supported by my karma. Whatever karma I create, whether good or evil, that I shall inherit.
Perhaps it is time to create a new paradigm of expressing loving relationships — one that has the capacity to honor the human need for connection as well as our need for freedom, and that manages to embody the intimate and infinite at the same time.
Here’s the “411” on how to tell if you’re really a good catch (your momma’s opinion aside):
1. Are You a “Real Grown-Up? This means void of mental games, and minus the bragging about your “conquests”. It also means letting go of excess baggage from former lovers. Recognize that sometimes love hurts. Get over it and move on.
2. Do You Have Realistic Expectations? I am often amazed at how guys think that relationships will flourish and “magically” be sustained with very little effort on their part. Anything worth having has to be worked at! You can’t put in 60 hours a week at work, and 60 minutes a week with your woman and expect to have success at both. Also, if you want your girl to look like Mariah Carey, you probably shouldn’t look like Drew Carey!
3. Are You an Equal Partner? Can you give as well as take? Are you willing to compromise to make your mate happy? As a popular record states “I can do bad by myself.”
4. Forget A Good Job. Do You Have a Good Heart? In today’s economy, job security is fleeting. But a good heart will endear you indefinitely to your love interest. Are you kind and generous? Loyal? Are you responsible? This is what has true staying power to a woman of substance.
5. Can You Be Trusted? Around your girlfriend’s girlfriends? When out with the fellas? When by yourself? Or do you have to be watched like a hawk so you don’t cheat?
6. Are You Health Conscious? Decent to look at? Void of unhealthy habits like alcohol or substance abuse? But not a fitness nut either.
7. Do You Respect a Woman’s Opinion and Her Intellect? Or do you view females as second-class citizens who should be seen and not heard? Do you take an interest in things that are important to her?
8. Are You Still on Amicable Terms with Most of Your Exes?
- Good catches tend to have really positive outlooks on life. Watch how he acts when he gets hurt. It’s okay to be upset for a while, but as long as he cuts his losses and moves on then you know his outlook is bright.
- On the other hand, if the guy seems hard to please, if he acts like a know-it-all, and if he holds a grudge, he’s probably a bad catch.
- Look at the way your catch treats people who can’t defend themselves. How does he treat the checkout operator at the supermarket, the kid who washes his car for a fundraiser, the McDonalds cashier who serves you on your first night out…? (Girl, if he’s taking you to Maccers for a first date, you’ve got bigger issues…)
- Does give them the evils if they get his order wrong, mock them for being slow, etc? This is a pretty good indicator of how he will treat you down the line if you ever irritate or inconvenience him.
- You are the Ruler!
- Goal: Order, prosperity
- Fear: Chaos
- Response to Dragon/Problem: Find its constructive uses
- Task: Take full responsibility for life
- Gift: Responsibility, control
- Addictions: Control, codependence
- Rulers are realists who do not have the leisure to have illusions; they are integrated, whole and ready to take responsibility for loves. Rulers understand that his/her own capacity for harm is as great as their capacity for good, and take responsibility for his/her actions. The Ruler maintains life and governs it. The emergence of the positive Ruler archetype indicates some achievement of mastery in the world. At best, Rulers are ecological and find the best methods to deal with everything.
